I posted this on ICAN first but I'm feeling so wonderful and over the moon about it I felt it was worth posting here as well.
Yesterday I found out a classmate from high school is expecting her first this fall. I commented on her ultrasound pics my congrats though I haven't seen or spoken to her in forever but after I pressed enter my mind went into hyper drive.
I started composing a huge list in my head of everything I wanted to tell her that I have learned. Ask your doctor's cesarean rates, make sure they have your true best interest in mind, what books to read which to avoid, how a cesarean is okay if necessary but often not necessary here's how to know the difference, if you do have a cesarean these things help or ask your doctor to do this, big baby is a myth, everything's okay in moderation (well almost everything), don't go to the hospital too soon, labor actively as long as possible, take a class, get a doula, baby care options, birth preferences.........and so on and so forth.
Pretty much every book, discussion on here, and random thing I learned on my VBAC journey and from joining ICAN a year ago came to the forefront of my mind. I honestly don't have any personal connection to this woman and yet I feel as a fellow woman and mother I need to help her in any way I can, yet I'm also not sure how to really tell all that and more to a first time Mom and not appear a little crazy. She's only 12-15 weeks I think so it might be a bit overwhelming.
I also thought about how I didn't want to scare her but I didn't want her to go through what I did with J or be unfortunately surprised by how her first delivery goes, if all doesn't go to plan. I hope she lucks out and has the easy birth without knowing how lucky she is and though I love to tell women you can VBAC (birth vaginally after a cesarean), but I hope I don't have to. And if I can help her chances of all going perfectly I can't just let it go.
I realized how much all I've learned and gone through has changed me over the past year. Even with all I went through with C and J's births before E's pregnancy and joining ICAN of Atlanta when people told me they were pregnant I just said "Congrats," reminisced about my pregnancies a little and moved on not thinking about it again. Now I feel like I have a responsibility to share my knowledge and support to help her....and every pregnant woman (and their partners) I meet in the future. I want to celebrate their pregnancies as women and as becoming parents and give them some of the tools and knowledge they need to have the best birth possible.
Hubby and I talked about my feelings a lot and I realized that I want to be a Childbirth Educator. I have considered this many times since my Intuitive Birth class with Crystal Bowden where she made a huge impact on my hubby and I, but now I'm sure it's something I'm meant to do.
I know I may have to put off actually beginning this career path for a bit with hubby and the kids schedules right now, but I also know it's definitely something I want to do with my life. We have a lot going on in the next months with hubby finding a job and potentially moving this year so this is a life goal and I don't feel I need to rush it.
I also know I want to eventually be a doula as well, but I feel I need to wait till I've had another child (or two) and they're at a point it will be okay for me to leave them with someone for long periods of time.
I am so excited just imagining all this and having made this decision in my life, so I wanted to share, especially with you the wonderful ladies of ICAN(many of whom seem to have had similar realizations inspiring them to become doulas, CBEs, and Midwives and have inspired me as well). I feel no matter where I go in life from this point forward, I know this is part of that destiny. It's a pretty awesome feeling and I'm so excited to work towards this goal in the future.
Thanks to the ladies at ICAN for all your information and support which has inspired me down this path.
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